In general, we tend to be attracted to people who display a
sense of humor. In the cost-benefit analyses underlying interpersonal
attraction (K. S. Cook and Rice, 2003), a sense of humor in another person
increases the perceived benefits of a relationship (the pleasant feelings
associated with laughter) and decreases the perceived costs (there is less
likelihood that the person will become easily offended or burden us with
negative emotional reactions). An experiment by Barbara Fraley and Arthur Aron
(2004) examined the degree to which a shared humorous experience during a first
encounter between strangers leads to greater feelings of closeness. In this
study, same-sex stranger pairs participated together in a series of tasks that
were designed either to generate a great deal of humor or to be enjoyable but
not humorous. After completing these tasks, they were each asked to rate their
perceptions of their partner and their feelings on a number of scales,
including how close they felt to the other person.
The participants in the humorous task condition laughed much
more frequently and rated the activity as being significantly more humorous
than did those in the non-humorous condition, indicating that the manipulation
of humor was successful. At the same time, the two conditions were rated as
being equally enjoyable. As predicted, the participants in the humorous
condition reported feeling much closer and more attracted to each other
afterwards, as compared to those in the nontumorous condition. Further analyses
revealed that this effect was due to differences in the perceived funniness and
not merely the enjoyableness of the conditions.
The authors also tested several hypotheses concerning
possible mediators and moderators of the observed effects of shared humor. They
found that the effect of humor on perceived closeness was mediated in part by
perceptions of “self-expansion” (feeling that one has gained a new perspective
on things and a greater sense of awareness as a result of the interaction), as
well as by distraction from the initial discomfort associated with interacting
with a stranger, but not by perceptions of self-disclosure or greater
acceptance by the partner. Furthermore, the effect of humor on closeness was
stronger for participants with a greater sense of humor and for those with a
more anxious attachment style. In summary, sharing humor in an initial
encounter between strangers appears to enhance feelings of closeness and mutual
attraction by expanding each person's sense of self and by reducing their
feelings of discomfort and anxiety, particularly among people who generally
have a good sense of humor as well as those who usually tend to feel anxious
about their close relationships.
While we tend to be attracted to people with whom we have a
humorous interaction in our first encounter, we may be particularly attracted
to those who laugh at our jokes, since this indicates that they share our sense
of humor. In an experiment by Arnie Cann and his colleagues, participants were
instructed to tell a joke to a same-sex stranger who was actually a confederate
of the experimenter (Cann, Calhoun, and Banks, 1997). For half of the subjects,
the stranger laughed at the joke, and for the other half he or she did not.
Half of the participants were also given information indicating that the
stranger held attitudes and beliefs about social issues that were very similar
to their own, whereas the other half were led to believe that the stranger held
dissimilar views. The participants subsequently rated their perceptions of the
stranger and their feelings of attraction to him or her.
As predicted, the results indicated that both greater
similarity in attitudes and the stranger's laughter in response to the joke led
to more positive perceptions and greater attraction to the stranger.
Interestingly, the effect of laughter on the part of the stranger was even
powerful enough to overcome the well-established negative effect of attitude
dissimilarity on attraction. A stranger with dissimilar social attitudes who
laughed in response to the participant's joke was perceived more positively than
was a stranger with similar attitudes who did not laugh. The authors suggested
that laughter from the stranger indicates that this person has a sense of
humor, and, moreover, that he or she shares the subject's style of humor, both
of which contribute to positive attraction. These humor perceptions seem to be
even more important than the well-established effect on attraction of sharing
similar attitudes and beliefs. Viewed in another way, these findings suggest
that laughing at the funny things another person says is a way not only of
expressing feelings of attraction but also of enhancing one's own
attractiveness to the other person (Grammer, 1990).
Source: https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/interpersonal-attraction
