Here is a great little game to help you communicate to
the person on your first date or whenever you need assistance.
It's simple, easy, in-the-moment, and you can play it
with a friend, your lover, on a date, or with someone you've just met – anyone.
Warning: You
will both likely feel more present, playful, connected, and perhaps even
turned-on after playing this game.
Directions:
Two people stand or sit directly across from each other, making eye contact.
One person is A, and the other is B. A goes first.
A: What I notice when I'm with you is…
B: Hearing that, what I'm noticing is…
A: Hearing that, what I'm noticing is…
B: Hearing that, what I'm noticing is…
Go back and forth: “Hearing that, I notice… Hearing that,
I notice…”. It could be 2 minutes or 20 minutes, it's up to you, but the most
popular timing is approximately 5 minutes.
You can share observations, thoughts, sensations,
feelings, anything. Be open for laughter, tears, wonder, real communication –
ahh... an authentic meeting.
Examples:
The other person’s physical appearance:
* ”…the smoothness of your skin”
* ”…the way your earrings jingle when you
laugh”
* “…that you seem to be looking away a lot”
* ”…the gap between your front teeth when you
smiled just then”
Sensations in your own body:
* ”…I’m feeling nervous tension in my chest”
* ”…I felt my shoulders relax when you smiled
just now”
* ”…I’m feeling uncomfortable with this intense
eye contact”
* ”…I felt giddy and turned-on when you said
that”
Thoughts you’re having:
* ”…I’m thinking about when we first met”
* ”…I’m curious about how you got that scar on
your forehead“
* ”…I’m wanting to reassure you that I don’t
feel offended by your comment”
Emotions you’re feeling:
* ”…I’m scared that you’re upset that I pointed
out the gap in your teeth”
* ”…I’m grateful that we’re getting to have
this experience together”
* ”…I’m feeling frustrated that you keep
breaking eye contact with me”
* ”…I’m excited that you noticed my earrings
because I made them myself”
* ”…I’m feeling warmth in my chest and
gratitude for you and for this moment”
* ”…I’m having fun playing this game!”
Notes:
Be willing to take risks. The more vulnerable, edgy and
unfiltered, the more exhilarating and engaging this game becomes. This includes
sharing your nervousness, attraction and even frustration.
Keep it in-the-moment. Don't prepare what you might say –
let it unfold organically,
allow yourself to be surprised by what comes out of your
mouth.
There's a new moon tonight – make a wish and have some
fun!
Sources and
Additional Information:
