Thursday, July 21, 2016

The Noticing Game: Fun Communication Game for the First Date

Here is a great little game to help you communicate to the person on your first date or whenever you need assistance.

It's simple, easy, in-the-moment, and you can play it with a friend, your lover, on a date, or with someone you've just met – anyone.

Warning: You will both likely feel more present, playful, connected, and perhaps even turned-on after playing this game.

Directions: Two people stand or sit directly across from each other, making eye contact.

One person is A, and the other is B. A goes first.  

A: What I notice when I'm with you is…
B: Hearing that, what I'm noticing is…
A: Hearing that, what I'm noticing is…
B: Hearing that, what I'm noticing is…

Go back and forth: “Hearing that, I notice… Hearing that, I notice…”. It could be 2 minutes or 20 minutes, it's up to you, but the most popular timing is approximately 5 minutes.

You can share observations, thoughts, sensations, feelings, anything. Be open for laughter, tears, wonder, real communication – ahh... an authentic meeting.


The other person’s physical appearance:

     *  ”…the smoothness of your skin”
     *  ”…the way your earrings jingle when you laugh”
     *  “…that you seem to be looking away a lot”
     *  ”…the gap between your front teeth when you smiled just then”

Sensations in your own body:

     *  ”…I’m feeling nervous tension in my chest”
     *  ”…I felt my shoulders relax when you smiled just now”
     *  ”…I’m feeling uncomfortable with this intense eye contact”
     *  ”…I felt giddy and turned-on when you said that”

Thoughts you’re having:

     *  ”…I’m thinking about when we first met”
     *  ”…I’m curious about how you got that scar on your forehead“
     *  ”…I’m wanting to reassure you that I don’t feel offended by your comment”

Emotions you’re feeling:

     *  ”…I’m scared that you’re upset that I pointed out the gap in your teeth”
     *  ”…I’m grateful that we’re getting to have this experience together”
     *  ”…I’m feeling frustrated that you keep breaking eye contact with me”
     *  ”…I’m excited that you noticed my earrings because I made them myself”
     *  ”…I’m feeling warmth in my chest and gratitude for you and for this moment”
     *  ”…I’m having fun playing this game!”


Be willing to take risks. The more vulnerable, edgy and unfiltered, the more exhilarating and engaging this game becomes. This includes sharing your nervousness, attraction and even frustration.

Keep it in-the-moment. Don't prepare what you might say – let it unfold organically,
allow yourself to be surprised by what comes out of your mouth.

There's a new moon tonight – make a wish and have some fun!

Sources and Additional Information:

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