Monday, August 1, 2016

The Desire Game: Fun Communication Game for the First Date

Warning: You will both likely feel more present, playful, connected, and perhaps even turned-on after playing this game.

Directions: Divide into pairs. Each member of the pair has a 7 minutes to ask for exactly what they want from their partner in the moment. Their partner has the option to either give it or say no. The asking partner keeps making requests until their time is up, and keeps asking for specifics until they get exactly what they want (provided the other person wants to give it). Take a few minutes to share what that was like, and then switch roles.

Notes:  Requests can be physical, mental, or emotional, for example: “Would you give me a back rub?” “Would you tell me what you think about me?” “Would you ask me questions about myself?”

1. This game is not all about yes. Feel free to say no if the request does not seem to be comfortable for you. Do not think you have obligations to say yes all the time, and learn important skill not just to say no, but also do not take personally, if your partner says no to you.

2. You may be surprised, but might find it quite challenging to answer to yourself, what do you really want? Your time is running up, and you should decide fast of what is your immediate desire, which can be instantly satisfied by your partner. Have respect and be reasonable and polite with your requests. Remember, it is just a game, and intention is for both of you to win.

3. Try to emotionally connect to the partner before you even ask. If you try to do so, you may find that the requests will also depend on the situation, of who you work at the moment with.

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