Thursday, June 19, 2014

Four Temperaments in Love


Each of four temperaments has its own way of loving.

Choleric Love

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For people with a choleric temperament, dating is not fun like it is with sanguine people. Choleric people approach dating in the same manner they approach other issues in their lives – they analyze their hopes and needs, as well as the potential partner.
It is crucial that this potential partner shares their goals and interests because choleric people need someone to exchange ideas and talk about what interests them, for example, science and politics.

People with this temperament are attracted by those who are good listeners, smart at handling conflicts and disagreements and have other recognized social skills. While they analyze and hide their own emotions, Choleric people look for someone who is emotionally expressive, flexible and even hesitant. Often phlegmatic personalities are their choice when seeking the perfect partner (see Phlegmatic Love).

Choleric people usually are not interested in several relationships at once and have little dating experience when they are young. They may act awkwardly and if they don’t envision future with you and are not interested in you, they may treat you with neglect and be very impatient. Because of their forthright style and take-charge approach, they are likely to end the relationship abruptly when you may not even expect it.

On the other hand, if they find someone who they think is worth of their time and effort, they will focus intensively on that person. They can be very romantic and are ready for a deep commitment. Instead of expressing their emotions they will focus on pleasing you by getting you what you want. They like to be needed, so describe them your problems and difficulties and they will try to fix it for you.

Between all four temperaments, this temperament falls in love less frequently. They have only few serious relationships during their lives. However, if they had decided to build a relationship with that one special partner, they wouldn’t leave it easily, even if it wasn’t exactly what they wanted – they are not the type of people that enjoy regularly changing their minds.

This is the most sexual of four temperaments. They have a high sex drive, but they don’t like “sleeping around”. However, once they are in committed relationship, they see sex as the central core of the union and ask for sex more and more. Sex is very meaningful to them, but they do not share the details of their sex life with their friends. From the other side, they are comfortable at sharing their sexual needs with their partners.

As with all types, the secondary personality type of choleric people affects how and who they love. Generally they are highly independent and follow their own rules. People with mixed choleric-sanguine temperament are very self-sufficient and need a lot of time alone. They are imaginative and adventurous and seek someone who shares the same traits without being competitive with them.
Choleric-melancholic people are highly motivated to succeed. In relationships they know what they want and won’t settle for less. They have plans and date purposefully and they are out looking for someone who helps them to achieve their goals. It is difficult to get to know them, because they hide their real personality behind tranquility and humor.

Choleric-phlegmatic type is the most romantic type between choleric people. They give special gifts and celebrate special events. Loyalty is crucial to them.

In general, with choleric people you know where you stand. They will let you know what they want and how they wish to proceed. If they think they could have future with you, they become very dedicated partners, sensitive to the slightest sign of rejection.

Sanguinic Love

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Because this is the most adventurous of four temperaments, Sanguines are most compatible with their own type. These people are looking for a play mate; someone who will go adventuring with them, be it in conversation, in bed, or all around the world. They see dating as entertainment and love to go out and do novel things. In short, this means the relationship with a Sanguine person can be very exciting.

Because they love pleasure of senses, they are likely to take you to all kinds of art and cultural events, movies, shows and exotic restaurants. They are also highly sensitive to the world around them and you might even notice their attraction to complex designs and abstract art as well as their preference to sour, spicy and crunchy food.

They like intense and complicated music and the rhythmic side of them is even present in the way that they talk. Their extrovert nature and constant cravings for variety means that most Sanguine people have a lot of experience in dating and they can easily adjust to almost any courtship situation. They are friendly and enthusiastic and have no desire to control you, so you will probably feel comfortable and at ease. These people are also generous and are likely to give gifts early in the relationship.

Sanguine people are good listeners and they will always ask you about yourself in order to engage you and to satisfy their curiosity. During the conversation many of them look directly at you as well as leaning forward, touching your hand, arm or leg, while listening intently. Most of them have no problem with moving from one topic to another and despite that Sanguine people find self-disclosure difficult, they will talk about themselves occasionally, more with jokes that seriousness but eventually, disclosure will come when they are comfortable.

These people like nonsense and incongruous humor and have no problems laughing at themselves in order to make other people laugh. They are good at bantering and witty exchanges and as people pleasers they strive to perform and entertain, focusing on surprises, which of course, they simply adore!

Sanguine people have a relaxed attitude towards sex. Sanguine women, however, are less permissive than sanguine men. For most sanguines , sex is often a recreation, sometimes not even linked with loving or even really liking their partner.

Secondary personality type plays an important role in how you love.

* For instance, most sanguine people have a flexible approach to morality, but sanguine-melancholic type usually has fixed moral values and seeks for a partner who shares this attitude. They are likely to be more conventional in their courtship, like bringing flowers, being on time, as well as they will insist on knowing where do they stand in a relationship.
* Sanguine-phlegmatic seeks for harmony. They are sensitive to the needs of their partners and have a big heart. They won’t choose someone who competes in a relationship or overloads their schedule.
* Sanguine-choleric people are just a little odd or different. They have good nerves and do fine thriving on the edge but they don’t usually feel they have to justify their actions and act fast. They need a partner who will understand their need for independence and these men and women are the most sexual of all types, including other sanguine types.

Generally sanguine people take time before they commit, but once they do they can be truly thrilling and passionate lovers.

Phlegmatic Love

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The Phlegmatic lover is the most sensitive of four temperaments. When they are with their potential partners, phlegmatic people seek for common intellectual and emotional ground, which will serve as a bridge from heart to heart.

Because they reveal their feelings right in the beginning, they can be deeply hurt by rejection and these people do not see dating as a fun experience in the same way that Sanguine people do. Dating for them is always seeking for marriage or long-term committed relationship and they have a tendency to look for bonding, nurturing and attachment with a potential partner or date. In fact, when dating, they truly give themselves and it has been known for them at times, to get so tired emotionally that they stop dating for a period of time.

Once phlegmatic people find “the one”, they work on maintaining intimacy with this partner. They will avoid conflicts, they will do major adjustments and sacrifices – all for the sake of this cherished bond. Everything that happens within the relationship such as the odd phone call here and the email there is looked at as an important part of their relationship to the point where they actively enjoy analyzing their relationships and their partners’ thoughts and motives.

Between all four temperaments, this is the most romantic one. They fall in love most frequently and romance is critical to them; they plan romantic evenings and weekends well in advance. They will send you romantic cards; give you hugs and confess their love in hope that you will answer with the same. Sex also has to be romantic and if they engage it at all they expect that a meaningful relationship will develop. To them sex and love are interconnected – the exact opposite of typical sanguine approach.

Because phlegmatic people have rich fantasy life, they tend to idealize their partners. It is only when they delve further into the relationship and find out that their perfect partner isn’t quite as perfect as they once thought, the entire relationship is almost deemed to be ruined or “poisoned” to the point where they may not even be interested anymore.

It is important to mention that despite the fact that phlegmatic people seek for harmony and spend a lot of energy to build connection with their partners, they don’t like clingy and overly demanding people.

Your secondary personality type plays a powerful role in how you love:

* Phlegmatic-sanguine still seek the true love, but at the same time they like playful and adventurous partners.
* Phlegmatic-melancholic type is great at managing people, as well as very sympathetic and tactful and they are very warm and charming.
* Phlegmatic-choleric people also search for a perfect match, but can be tough-minded and analytical at the same time.

Generally, all phlegmatic types value marriage and it is their ultimate goal in relationship. They are the type that seeks for unconditional love – something that most other people don’t even understand the concept of. If they realize that their partner is not their soul mate and will not become their soul mate, they will leave him or her in search for their one “true” match.

Melancholic Love

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While most people tend to become passionate and somewhat irrational when they fall in love, Melancholic’s love is more pragmatic and down-to-earth. They see their love partners as assistants; their love preferences are based on common sense and compatibility. They should be predictable; adhering to the traditions and loyal to family.

Melancholics take dating seriously:

* They keep the good manners.
* They will never be late.
* Melancholic men will open doors for women.
* Melancholic women will cook for men.
* Moreover, they will always make concrete plans for what you will do in advance.
* They will be protective of you and, if they are really serious, they are likely to give important gifts.

In short, these people enjoy the traditions associated with dating and a relationship.

These types like to be concrete – they like facts and are literal in everything. Their conversation is detailed and factual, hating drama, and may appear unromantic to other types. This is the reason why they are usually attracted to their own type, especially when they are willing to settle down and start the family.

Melancholics do not choose their life partners impulsively, they do it very cautiously, considering the opinions of their friends and relatives. They fear to be criticized and this is why they may need friends and relatives to approve their date before they commit to him or her. This is also one of the reasons why melancholic people enjoy doing things as a couple within a larger group of friends.

Between all four temperaments, these people can be classified as the pillars of society. They enjoy community events and outings with the group of friends. As a result, the intimacy with this kind of people develops slowly. This is convenient to the Melancholics – by dating and courting in this way they can think carefully about their plans with you and further ahead such as marriage, children etc. They can plan things in advance and it is important to them that romance goes as planned.

Sex for Melancholics is a way to forget problems and relax. It is not a playful adventure, like for sanguine people. They usually have fewer sexual experiences before marriage. In fact, Melancholics are the least sexual of four temperaments – they do still enjoy sex, but they like it when it is familiar and not in the style of a “one night stand”.

The secondary temperament plays a powerful role how Melancholics love.

* While generally they are very cautious and careful, Melancholic-sanguine people still seek the novelty within the limits.
* Melancholic-choleric people can be pretty innovative and know how to compromise between original and conventional. They are also very ambitious and are likely to take you to places that are considered to be hard to get to.
* Melancholic-phlegmatic people are confident and easy going. They love to bring people together and are likely to introduce you to their friends and you will often find dating them will be a very social experience.

Melancholics look for marriage – they need someone responsible and respectful to traditions; devoted to family life. When Melancholics find their mate, they take all the responsibilities of the partnership and are usually very faithful, which they do not find difficult.


Sources and Additional Information:
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