Each of four temperaments has its own way of loving.
Choleric Love
For people with a choleric temperament, dating is not fun
like it is with sanguine people. Choleric people approach dating in the same
manner they approach other issues in their lives – they analyze their hopes and
needs, as well as the potential partner.
It is crucial that this potential partner shares their
goals and interests because choleric people need someone to exchange ideas and
talk about what interests them, for example, science and politics.
People with this temperament are attracted by those who
are good listeners, smart at handling conflicts and disagreements and have
other recognized social skills. While they analyze and hide their own emotions,
Choleric people look for someone who is emotionally expressive, flexible and
even hesitant. Often phlegmatic personalities are their choice when seeking the
perfect partner (see Phlegmatic Love).
Choleric people usually are not interested in several
relationships at once and have little dating experience when they are young.
They may act awkwardly and if they don’t envision future with you and are not
interested in you, they may treat you with neglect and be very impatient.
Because of their forthright style and take-charge approach, they are likely to
end the relationship abruptly when you may not even expect it.
On the other hand, if they find someone who they think is
worth of their time and effort, they will focus intensively on that person.
They can be very romantic and are ready for a deep commitment. Instead of
expressing their emotions they will focus on pleasing you by getting you what
you want. They like to be needed, so describe them your problems and
difficulties and they will try to fix it for you.
Between all four temperaments, this temperament falls in
love less frequently. They have only few serious relationships during their
lives. However, if they had decided to build a relationship with that one
special partner, they wouldn’t leave it easily, even if it wasn’t exactly what
they wanted – they are not the type of people that enjoy regularly changing
their minds.
This is the most sexual of four temperaments. They have a
high sex drive, but they don’t like “sleeping around”. However, once they are
in committed relationship, they see sex as the central core of the union and
ask for sex more and more. Sex is very meaningful to them, but they do not
share the details of their sex life with their friends. From the other side,
they are comfortable at sharing their sexual needs with their partners.
As with all types, the secondary personality type of
choleric people affects how and who they love. Generally they are highly
independent and follow their own rules. People with mixed choleric-sanguine
temperament are very self-sufficient and need a lot of time alone. They are
imaginative and adventurous and seek someone who shares the same traits without
being competitive with them.
Choleric-melancholic people are highly motivated to
succeed. In relationships they know what they want and won’t settle for less.
They have plans and date purposefully and they are out looking for someone who
helps them to achieve their goals. It is difficult to get to know them, because
they hide their real personality behind tranquility and humor.
Choleric-phlegmatic type is the most romantic type
between choleric people. They give special gifts and celebrate special events.
Loyalty is crucial to them.
In general, with choleric people you know where you
stand. They will let you know what they want and how they wish to proceed. If
they think they could have future with you, they become very dedicated
partners, sensitive to the slightest sign of rejection.
Sanguinic Love
Because this is the most adventurous of four
temperaments, Sanguines are most compatible with their own type. These people
are looking for a play mate; someone who will go adventuring with them, be it
in conversation, in bed, or all around the world. They see dating as
entertainment and love to go out and do novel things. In short, this means the
relationship with a Sanguine person can be very exciting.
Because they love pleasure of senses, they are likely to
take you to all kinds of art and cultural events, movies, shows and exotic
restaurants. They are also highly sensitive to the world around them and you
might even notice their attraction to complex designs and abstract art as well
as their preference to sour, spicy and crunchy food.
They like intense and complicated music and the rhythmic
side of them is even present in the way that they talk. Their extrovert nature
and constant cravings for variety means that most Sanguine people have a lot of
experience in dating and they can easily adjust to almost any courtship
situation. They are friendly and enthusiastic and have no desire to control
you, so you will probably feel comfortable and at ease. These people are also
generous and are likely to give gifts early in the relationship.
Sanguine people are good listeners and they will always
ask you about yourself in order to engage you and to satisfy their curiosity.
During the conversation many of them look directly at you as well as leaning
forward, touching your hand, arm or leg, while listening intently. Most of them
have no problem with moving from one topic to another and despite that Sanguine
people find self-disclosure difficult, they will talk about themselves
occasionally, more with jokes that seriousness but eventually, disclosure will
come when they are comfortable.
These people like nonsense and incongruous humor and have
no problems laughing at themselves in order to make other people laugh. They
are good at bantering and witty exchanges and as people pleasers they strive to
perform and entertain, focusing on surprises, which of course, they simply
adore!
Sanguine people have a relaxed attitude towards sex.
Sanguine women, however, are less permissive than sanguine men. For most
sanguines , sex is often a recreation, sometimes not even linked with loving or
even really liking their partner.
Secondary personality type plays an important role in how
you love.
* For instance, most sanguine people have a flexible
approach to morality, but sanguine-melancholic type usually has fixed moral
values and seeks for a partner who shares this attitude. They are likely to be
more conventional in their courtship, like bringing flowers, being on time, as
well as they will insist on knowing where do they stand in a relationship.
* Sanguine-phlegmatic seeks for harmony. They are
sensitive to the needs of their partners and have a big heart. They won’t
choose someone who competes in a relationship or overloads their schedule.
* Sanguine-choleric people are just a little odd or
different. They have good nerves and do fine thriving on the edge but they
don’t usually feel they have to justify their actions and act fast. They need a
partner who will understand their need for independence and these men and women
are the most sexual of all types, including other sanguine types.
Generally sanguine people take time before they commit,
but once they do they can be truly thrilling and passionate lovers.
Phlegmatic Love
The Phlegmatic lover is the most sensitive of four
temperaments. When they are with their potential partners, phlegmatic people
seek for common intellectual and emotional ground, which will serve as a bridge
from heart to heart.
Because they reveal their feelings right in the
beginning, they can be deeply hurt by rejection and these people do not see
dating as a fun experience in the same way that Sanguine people do. Dating for
them is always seeking for marriage or long-term committed relationship and
they have a tendency to look for bonding, nurturing and attachment with a
potential partner or date. In fact, when dating, they truly give themselves and
it has been known for them at times, to get so tired emotionally that they stop
dating for a period of time.
Once phlegmatic people find “the one”, they work on
maintaining intimacy with this partner. They will avoid conflicts, they will do
major adjustments and sacrifices – all for the sake of this cherished bond.
Everything that happens within the relationship such as the odd phone call here
and the email there is looked at as an important part of their relationship to
the point where they actively enjoy analyzing their relationships and their
partners’ thoughts and motives.
Between all four temperaments, this is the most romantic
one. They fall in love most frequently and romance is critical to them; they
plan romantic evenings and weekends well in advance. They will send you
romantic cards; give you hugs and confess their love in hope that you will
answer with the same. Sex also has to be romantic and if they engage it at all
they expect that a meaningful relationship will develop. To them sex and love
are interconnected – the exact opposite of typical sanguine approach.
Because phlegmatic people have rich fantasy life, they
tend to idealize their partners. It is only when they delve further into the
relationship and find out that their perfect partner isn’t quite as perfect as
they once thought, the entire relationship is almost deemed to be ruined or
“poisoned” to the point where they may not even be interested anymore.
It is important to mention that despite the fact that
phlegmatic people seek for harmony and spend a lot of energy to build
connection with their partners, they don’t like clingy and overly demanding
people.
Your secondary personality type plays a powerful role in
how you love:
* Phlegmatic-sanguine still seek the true love, but at
the same time they like playful and adventurous partners.
* Phlegmatic-melancholic type is great at managing
people, as well as very sympathetic and tactful and they are very warm and
charming.
* Phlegmatic-choleric people also search for a perfect
match, but can be tough-minded and analytical at the same time.
Generally, all phlegmatic types value marriage and it is
their ultimate goal in relationship. They are the type that seeks for
unconditional love – something that most other people don’t even understand the
concept of. If they realize that their partner is not their soul mate and will
not become their soul mate, they will leave him or her in search for their one
“true” match.
Melancholic Love
While most people tend to become passionate and somewhat
irrational when they fall in love, Melancholic’s love is more pragmatic and
down-to-earth. They see their love partners as assistants; their love
preferences are based on common sense and compatibility. They should be
predictable; adhering to the traditions and loyal to family.
Melancholics take dating seriously:
* They keep the good manners.
* They will never be late.
* Melancholic men will open doors for women.
* Melancholic women will cook for men.
* Moreover, they will always make concrete plans for what
you will do in advance.
* They will be protective of you and, if they are really
serious, they are likely to give important gifts.
In short, these people enjoy the traditions associated
with dating and a relationship.
These types like to be concrete – they like facts and are
literal in everything. Their conversation is detailed and factual, hating
drama, and may appear unromantic to other types. This is the reason why they
are usually attracted to their own type, especially when they are willing to
settle down and start the family.
Melancholics do not choose their life partners
impulsively, they do it very cautiously, considering the opinions of their
friends and relatives. They fear to be criticized and this is why they may need
friends and relatives to approve their date before they commit to him or her.
This is also one of the reasons why melancholic people enjoy doing things as a
couple within a larger group of friends.
Between all four temperaments, these people can be
classified as the pillars of society. They enjoy community events and outings
with the group of friends. As a result, the intimacy with this kind of people
develops slowly. This is convenient to the Melancholics – by dating and
courting in this way they can think carefully about their plans with you and
further ahead such as marriage, children etc. They can plan things in advance
and it is important to them that romance goes as planned.
Sex for Melancholics is a way to forget problems and
relax. It is not a playful adventure, like for sanguine people. They usually have
fewer sexual experiences before marriage. In fact, Melancholics are the least
sexual of four temperaments – they do still enjoy sex, but they like it when it
is familiar and not in the style of a “one night stand”.
The secondary temperament plays a powerful role how
Melancholics love.
* While generally they are very cautious and careful,
Melancholic-sanguine people still seek the novelty within the limits.
* Melancholic-choleric people can be pretty innovative
and know how to compromise between original and conventional. They are also
very ambitious and are likely to take you to places that are considered to be
hard to get to.
* Melancholic-phlegmatic people are confident and easy
going. They love to bring people together and are likely to introduce you to
their friends and you will often find dating them will be a very social
experience.
Melancholics look for marriage – they need someone
responsible and respectful to traditions; devoted to family life. When
Melancholics find their mate, they take all the responsibilities of the
partnership and are usually very faithful, which they do not find difficult.
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