What did you do for your sweetheart on Valentine ’s Day?
How do you know if he or she truly loves your idea? Or did he or she just not
want to hurt your feelings? Can you do better next year? How to speak with your
partner in a language he or she understands the best? How to make your partner
and yourself the happy as you can be?
Get your answers by inviting your partner to take the
Love Language Quiz!
The 60-second Quiz
Questions
For each pair of following statements, circle the one
that fits you best your personal preferences within your current relationship.
If you are not currently in a relationship, try to imagine how you would like
to be treated, if you were in relationship of your dream. Or, think about how you
like to be treated by a family members and a close friend you value most.
Do not spend much time on thinking over and over the same
questions, if you cannot decide on spot which statement fits you better, try to
use spontaneous and intuitive approach, choosing the response on emotional
perception level.
1. I like to receive encouraging or affirming notes (A)
I like to be hugged (E)
2. I like to spend one-to-one time with close friends (B)
I feel loved when someone gives me practical
help (D)
3. I like it when people give me gifts (C)
I like leisurely visits with friends and loved
ones (B)
4. I feel loved when people do things to help me (D)
I feel loved when people give me a reassuring
hand shake or hug (E)
5. I feel loved when someone I love or admire puts their
arm around me (E)
I feel loved when I receive a gift from
someone I admire or love (C)
6. I like to go places with friends, or loved ones (B)
I like to high-five or slap around with
friends who are special to me (E)
7. Visible symbols of love (such as gifts) are important
to me (C)
I feel loved when people affirm me (A)
8. I like to sit close to people I enjoy being around (E)
I like it when people tell me I am
attractive/handsome (A)
9. I like to spend time with friends and loved ones (B)
I like to receive little gifts from friends
and loved ones (C)
10. Words of acceptance are important to me (A)
I know someone loves me when he or she helps
me (D)
11. I like being together and doing things with friends
& loved ones (B)
I like it when kind words are spoken to me (A)
12. What someone does affects me far more than what they
say (D)
Hugs make me feel connected and valued (E)
13. I value praise and try to avoid criticism (A)
Several small gifts mean more to me than
one large gift (C)
14. I feel close to someone when we are talking or doing
something together (B)
I feel closer to friends & loved ones
when we wrestle, hug or shake hands (E)
15. I like for people to complement my achievements (A)
I know people love me when they do things
for me they don’t enjoy doing (D)
16. I like for people to cross the street to shake hands
or hug when they see me (E)
I like when people listen to me & show
genuine interest in what I’m saying (B)
17. I feel loved when friends and loved ones help me with
jobs or projects (D)
I really enjoy receiving gifts from friends
and loved ones (C)
18. I like for people to complement my appearance (A)
I feel loved when people take time to
understand my feelings (B)
19. I feel secure when a special person is physically
close to me (E)
Acts of service make me feel loved (D)
20. I appreciate the many things that special people do
for me (D)
I like to receive gifts that special people
make for me (C)
21. I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone gives
me undivided attention (B)
I really enjoy the feeling I get when someone
does some act to serve me (D)
22. I feel loved when a person celebrates my birthday
with a gift (C)
I feel loved when a person celebrates my
birthday with meaningful words (A)
23. I know a person is thinking of me when they give me a
gift (C)
I feel loved when a person helps me with my
chores or tasks (D)
24. I appreciate it when someone listens patiently and does
not interrupt me (B)
I appreciate it when someone remembers special
days with a gift (C)
25. I like knowing loved ones are concern enough to help
with my daily tasks (D)
I enjoy extended trips with someone who is
special to me (B)
26. I do not mind the “kiss-hello‟ with friends I am
close to (E)
Receiving a gift given for no special reason
excites me (C)
27. I like to be told that I am appreciated (A)
I like for a person to look at me when they
are talking (B)
28. Gifts from a friend or loved one are always special
to me (C)
I feel good when a friend or loved one hugs or
touches me (E)
29. I feel loved when a person enthusiastically does some
task I have requested (D)
I feel loved when I am told how much I am
appreciated (A)
30. I need physical contact with people everyday (E)
I need words of encouragement and affirmation
everyday (A)
Results
Now go through your quiz again and count how many “A, B,
C, D and Es” you circled. Place the number in below for each category.
TOTALS:
A: ________ B: ________ C: ________ D: ________ E:
________
Interpretation
Which letter has your highest score? That is your primary
love language.
There are 5 primary love languages:
* A = Words of Affirmation
* B = Quality Time
* C = Receiving Gifts
* D = Acts of Service
* E = Physical Touch
The five love
languages
Words of
Affirmation
One of your deepest needs is the need to feel
appreciated. Verbal compliments, words of appreciation,
encouragement, kind and humble words are all ways to show
love to you.
Quality Time
You enjoy doing things TOGETHER! We are not talking about
just sitting in front of the T.V. together but really giving each other
undivided attention. This means looking at each other, talking to each other, sharing
your life with your partner.
Receiving Gifts
You are happy to receive things from your loved ones.
They do not have to be expensive. The gift is a symbol of your partner thinking
about you and caring about you.
Acts of Service
For you, actions speak louder than words! You prefer your
partner to do things for you such as cooking a meal, giving a massage, cleaning
the room… You like your partner to initiate the acts of service and put efforts
into doing them to show that s/he cares.
Physical Touch
You love to receive a hug, a kiss, squeezes on the
shoulder, a pat on the back, a touch of the face, and an arm around the waist...
Touches can be 10 times as powerful and comforting as any words!
How to speak your
partner love language?
Assuming that you have learnt your partner’s love
language, after taking the quiz. It is now time to learn to speak it. Speaking
a new (literal) language means learning the right things to say as well as the
wrong. Languages are rarely simple – you have to learn cultural idioms, faux
pas, and taboos so you can avoid them. Just as certain behaviors will make them
feel incredibly loved, other behaviors will be devastating. This image and
description below illustrates the most important points on the things to do and
things to avoid when communicating love to your partner, based on their love
language.
This is meant to be a starting point, so may these
pointers help get you thinking about what you can do specifically for your
spouse!
Love Language:
Words of Affirmation
How to communicate:
Encourage, affirm, appreciate, and empathize.
Actions to take:
Send an unexpected note, text, or card. Encourage genuinely and often.
Avoid:
Non-constructive criticism, not recognizing or appreciating effort.
Love Language:
Physical Touch
How to communicate:
Non-verbal – use body language and touch to emphasize love.
Actions to take:
Hug, kiss, hold hands, show physical affection regularly. Make intimacy a
thoughtful priority.
Avoid: Physical
neglect, long stints without intimacy, receiving affection coldly.
Love Language:
Receiving Gifts
How to communicate:
Thoughtfulness, make your spouse a priority, speak purposefully.
Actions to take:
Give gestures and gifts thoughtfully, with and without special occasion. Even
small things matter in a big way. Express gratitude, when you are given a gift.
Avoid: Forgetting
special occasions.
Love Language:
Quality Time
How to communicate:
Uninterrupted and focused conversations. One-on-one time is critical.
Actions to take:
Create special moments together, take walks and do small things with your
spouse. Weekend getaways are huge.
Avoid:
Distractions when spending time together, long stints without focused
one-on-one time.
Love Language:
Acts of Service
How to communicate:
Use action phrases like “I will” and “I’ll help…”. They want to know you’re
with them, partnered with them.
Actions to take:
Do chores together or make them breakfast in bed. Go out of your way to help
alleviate their daily workload.
Avoid: Making
the requests of others a higher priority, lacking follow-through on tasks big
and small.
About Dr. Chapman
With more than 30 years of experience as a marriage
counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman has heard it all. He has helped couples at every
stage of marriage and at pivotal points in their relationships—from those just
discovering the joys and trial of marriage to those who are ready to call it
quits.
After many years of counseling, Dr. Chapman noticed a
pattern: everyone he had ever counseled had a “love language,” a primary way of
expressing and interpreting love. He also discovered that, for whatever reason,
people are usually drawn to those who speak a different love language than
their own.
Of the countless ways we can show love to one another,
five key categories, or five love languages, proved to be universal and comprehensive—everyone
has a love language, and we all identify primarily with one of the five love
languages: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of
Service, and Physical Touch.
Since The 5 Love Languages® debuted in 1992, over five million
copies have been sold, making The 5 Love Languages® a perennial New York Times
bestseller. But numbers don’t measure the influence the book has had on couples
and their marriages.
The 5 Love Languages® has helped countless couples
identify practical and powerful ways to express love, simply by using the
appropriate love language. Many husbands and wives who had spent years
struggling through marriages they thought were loveless discovered one or both
spouses had long been showing love through messages that were not getting
through. By recognizing their different love languages, they witnessed the
rebirth of the love they thought had been gone for good.
The book has been translated into more than 40 languages
and is healing marriages around the world!
Sources and
Additional Information:
“The 5 Love
Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts” by Dr. Gary Chapman
